Today I was feeling insecure and clingy, and bless his heart, he can tell when I'm that way and he always tries to reassure me that he loves me and considers this a long-term/permanent relationship. He said today that he knew I was the woman for him when we'd been dating about a year. (We've been together almost 9 years now.)
See, this is why it's hard for me to understand the no-sex thing. Why would any man want to be with a woman forever (or at least for as long as possible) and not have sex? Don't men dread the idea of never having sex for the rest of their lives?
One thing I AM doing right: I'm constantly telling him how much I like the cuddling, kissing, compliments, etc. I didn't study psychology in school for nothing! [g] Positive reinforcement - make a big deal out of behaviors you want to encourage, right?
I know that my being late for things all the time is one thing about me that he hates and wishes to change. To tell the truth, I know this is an issue for me in all areas of my life. It's a control thing. I'm late to work, late getting home from work, late to family events; sometimes even late for fun things that I want to do. I have a real problem here. It's like I'm telling people "you can't boss me around or keep track of me." Or I want to keep on doing what I'm already doing; I don't want to stop and go somewhere and do something else.
It's a big, big deal for me, and I need help changing it. My DH is mad at me about it; my dad is mad at me about it; my supervisor tolerates it bcs she's often late herself ([g] I'm lucky at this job - the management team all comes in at about the same time I do. In past jobs, I haven't been so lucky) - and also, I'm good at my job.
Anyway. I'm not sure if I want to talk to him about feeling like I was being punished the other night. I know that I have a tendency to get paranoid, over-analyze things, and assume I know other people's motives. That could be where the "feeling punished" feeling was coming from.
OTOH, I also know that I hate unpleasantness, scenes, and difficult conversations. That could be why I don't want to talk to him about it.
Anyway, I should go now - he just got home from the store. But I'll be back....
