Finding My Way

[Mystik]

Notfromtheseparts ~ Thank you, it's good to know that there are men out there who are ok with kids.

Vulcanized ~ Logically I know that he's not my H, he's an alien right now. But when I see him he still looks like my H and my mind can't separate the two, if that makes any sense. Add to that all my memories of our time together and it's so hard to just let go of that. And yes, I have no self esteem and am very prone to negative self-talk. Oh, the joys of depression. Even with all the medications I'm taking for it, I'm still not out of the woods. As for my weight, I'm going to weight loss surgery because I've been so unsuccessful on my own. However until I am more mentally stable the doctor won't approve me for surgery. And with the size I am that definitely doesn't help my self esteem or mental state. So I need the surgery to feel better about myself, but need to feel better about myself to get approved for surgery.