I really agree with Cas. Counselling will make a big difference in your sitch. I would not have been able to change my attitude and outlook without counselling. It really helped me with detaching and seeing a bright future for myself. My counselor was able to assist with practical sugestions which had not occured to me.
As for whether you should file or not, only you will know when you are ready to take that step. If you need more time FOR YOURSELF before taking that step, then take that time. In any event, the more immediate critical thing is to find some counselling resources and avail yourself of whatever resources may be open to you. Talking to a professional really helps to take some of the weight off.
