SunnyD, Sad to hear you are going thru this... You and I are the only ones up at 4:30am...these affairs ruin your sleep... I am in a similiar situation... Are you both going to MC/IC... Have you read Dr Harley's book His Needs/Her Needs?? or Love Busters?? If not I might suggest them both because they helped me alot on learning what happened to my wife and I... Over a ten year period my wife and I stopped meeting each others emotional needs, and we drifted apart and did not spend enough time together...spending time together is one of the emotional needs... Dr Harley has the top ten emotional needs and they are: 1. affection 2. sexual fulfillment 3. conversation 4. recreational companionship 5. honesty and openness 6. an attractive spouse 7. financial support 8. domestic support 9. family commitment 10. admiration Dr Harley says that if a couple are not striving to meet each others top five EN then they are substracting points from each others love bank account... Dr Harley states that we need to meet each others top five emotional needs and be working towards the other 5 EN in order to maintain a safe healthy marriage.
I know that in my case my wife and I were not meeting each others emotional needs... But in all honesty we did not have Dr Harley's roadmap for success until I found his books about three months ago...
I believe everyone of us that are suffering marriage problems have fallen into not meeting each others emotional needs to some degree...
I hope this helps... Stay positive and keep yourself busy...
