I can speak from experience here... First...you did not cause this, nor are you really the reason...the reason we focus on ourselves (IMHO) is because we want to make a change for the better in our selves...this also serves as a wake up call to our spouse because then they see us differently as well... Second...you are not driving your H away from your children...he is making his choice...my husband chose to stay away, not because of lack of love for his children but because inside he knew he was messed up...even though at the time he couldn't admit it... Take time to look at all the beauty around you...we get so busy in life that we sometimes look but don't see...not a day goes by now that I don't notice a beautiful cloud against the blue sky, a pretty palm tree sticking up into the sky, a beautiful flower, a pretty bird, or a cute baby with it's mother...I have been known to lay on a lounge and watch ants! I have found it very good for my own mental clarity and happiness...even though my husband has been home for several years I have maintained this appreciation...it helps me be in charge of MY happiness...
Take care
P.S. right now I am walking through this with a very dear friend who has 3 teenage boys...her husband returned to a woman that he had a child with 16 years ago!...it is so easier to give advice to people here but it is so hard to be tough with my friend!... So if I am MIA and post sporadic, please understand this is why.
