WAW 20 years and wants out

[Pensacolabroken]

MR Bond and Pookie.

I am listening..

She came home tonight.. Black belt awarded.. I congratulated her. She was pissed. I told her I am proud of her accomplishement from the last 9 weeks. She replied it was from the last 2 years.. I said yes.. I was there for those.
She is still angry I exposed her EA with her TKD partner.. she brought it up with lots of anger yet we kept is civil.. I used my 180's. She informed me she was going on a Girls Night Out and she would be out Friday and Saturday 22 - 23 Oct. I asked where.. she said "It wont be with a man".. I doubt it..

I told her I still have respect for our marriage and I will tell you where I am going.. she said "we are seperated" I said what does that mean? she said "Seperated" so yea alarm bells are going off.

I have changed my position.. I am going to counseling.. I have to for my integrity.. she will go or she wont. I told her I want the marriage to be different.. not the same but better.. that I acknowledge my mistakes.. but she has respponsibility to admit her part also.. and it starts with that OM.. she didnt want to talk about him.. I broke off the conversation and told her I was spending Sunday with my Dad, we would meet at the house at 400pm for our drive up for MC..

I am LEANING HEAVILY into going dark and dating after the monday MC..

I am getting angry with her refusal to accept her role..

thoughts?

am I freaking losing my mind?