A new beginning to an end

[ImprovedRomeo]

Hey Sol, sorry wasn't around.

As for your emotions and feelings, yes, yes, yes...you're absolutely right about everything you said. However, the sooner you realize that things out of your control are just that the sooner you'll be able to free yourself of the ball and chain. You're a great woman, all of us see that. He's stupid to leave you behind like lots of other WASs- most of them took us for granted and they're high off of the excitement/distraction of something/someone new. But make no mistake, their time will come when they'll one day realize what they lost in the process. For us we truly have to let them go- set them free so they can see for themselves the kind of people we are. Any talking, questioning etc will only make their resolve stronger. If it's meant to be they'll come back and if YOU DECIDE to take them back at that point you could. If not you'll move on...and you will.

I know you're hurting...actually you do quite well for days even weeks (or at least show it that way) but then you get into this mode which is normal and very understandable. Look how far you've come in just the last 3-4 months, you'll keep doing better slowly but steadily.

Sandycay hit it on the nail i.e. do what's best for you financially. It's hard to offer a suggestion without knowing the equity/value of the house.

He can't get you to pay for half of the mortgage but since the date of separation any money he's spending on the house will be considered his equity. So say the house is worth $100k and he owes 90k to the bank. The equity in the house is only $10k. Theoretically you'll be entitled for the $5k. However, say he's paid $3k on the mortgage since separation then you're only entitled to $2k. Furthermore, selling the house has costs associated too say that's $10k- well in that case there'll be nothing to split except the debt. Just a crude example.

If you want CG's advice, get on FB. I don't know if she'll be posting here anytime soon.