This is a little of the story. I have been gone for two years and only getting home mainly on the weekend. My wife moved out a week ago, and this was a red flag on the field. I asked her several times if she was having an EA or PA with some guy, and her standard answer was no,no,no,no,no. I found this site several months ago, and I have been reading it alot. I bought MWD books on Divorce Busting, and I enjoy her solution based therapy approach. I bought both Dr Harley's books HN/HN and Love Busters, and I read them both. I gave these to my wife and she read them both. We are going to see a MC, and we are also going to IC with the same counselor.
My problem is that I am struggling with not telling the OM wife about the affair. The OM is married and has two children. I know Dr Harley states that you should get all of this out in the open. I know that the OM wife will never have a good marriage until they get this out in the open and go to a marriage counselor and work at repairing their marriage.
Also, my wife and I have three children. So, do I tell our three children?? Two of our children are in college right now, and I hate to lay alot of these problems on them while they are trying to make good grades in school, but I know in my heart that we would do better at recovery to tackle this together as a family rather than keeping it silent... and we would come out better and stronger on the other side of all this. Do I inform any of my wife and I circle of friends?? Do I inform my wifes mom and dad and siblings??
These senseless affairs tear alot of lives apart and leave a helluva alot of damage behind...
This whole event is terribly painful...
I consider the team here at Divorce Busting to be my mentors, and I also visit the Marriage Builders site. I follow MWD and Dr Harleys teaching now because they have a clearly defined plan, that is easy to understand, and makes perfect sense, and their plan works.
I believe most marriages are worth saving and rebuilding, and I know that MWD Divorce Busting and Dr Harleys method of His Needs/Her Needs and Love Busters is the answer to rekindle most of our marriages.
