I haven't posted on my thread for a while. Any suggestions on whether I should open up a little more to my wife or stay 'dark.'
I slid back incredibly a few weeks ago - pursuing like crazy: buying gifts, writing a letter, calling, etc. Even begging her to go to counseling again (how unattractive I was acting) All that did was push her away and caused her to get angry - guilt on her part. I asked if she noticed my changes (mistake) she said yes, but that it didn't matter now.
So I reread DR and went back to being 'dark' except with concerns for our daughter. We met in person last week to dicuss a couple of financial things. Afterwards she asked to go to the store with me (which she hadn't even wanted to see me, let alone go anywhere with me while I slid back.) Then she pulled back and changed her mind. But we continued to talk about nonlogistical things and parted in really good moods, laughing with each other. I went dark again, then a couple days later she text me about our daughter and then text me Good Night - which she had asked me to stop telling her while I slid back.
Back to dark. A couple days went by and she text me again about our daughter. I responded once - she text again several times. I did not respond. A half hour later she text me again wondering why I hadn't responded and suggesting something for my lunch for the next day.
Saw my wife in the morning as she met me at daughter's daycare. She ALWAYS arrives there a half hour earlier then she did this day. She knew I wouldn't be there until that time. Did she wait to get there when she knew I would be there? Dunno. We gave a kiss and hug bye and as she drove off I caught her looking back at me and she waved. Spent day with daughter while W and I texting back and forth a little. Nothing monumental in the texts. Then she contacted me again that night with just a simple question. I responded.
I have absolutely changed my way of thinking - no more chasing, etc. Have made the changes for myself that I needed to. I am a much better person and can be a much better husband and father now.
Are these signs of her softening? I don't want to go overboard and scare her away. Should I stay dark now or ask her to do something as a family again? When I first started DR (before I slid back) she would soften and then pull back incredibly. Any suggestions?
