Back for round 2!!

[Augtan]

I have been on the "divorced but not done" board some and they just don't reply as much as over here, so I am back. I won't bore anyone with my long story..the bottom of here says most everything. XH is single yet again, had dated a real winner for a few months, but I think she is gone, thank God. He was up here a few weeks ago, stayed at my house with me and the kids, we were "together" and it was great! We were more intimate than we had been when we had been together other times since Dday, more kissing, touching, talking, etc. Anyway, I continue to DB and am doing better than ever at it, no R talk, no contact unless he makes it or it's about the kids, we don't really see each other cause he lives 700 miles away. He lost his job a few weeks ago, and I have been nothing but supportive to all of that and I have seen him emerge from the tunnel more and more, but I know he is still in and out a lot too.

It would have been our 19th anniversary this last Tuesday and I vowed not to contact him, and I didn't, he IM'd me and we chatted a bit, then at the end I said "19 years ago today I married and amazing man and I miss him very much, we miss and love you..all of us, if you look back you will see that I never turned my back on you and support you 100%, I hope you have a great day" He replied "thanks" and that was it. I went out with a bunch of friends that night and had a blast, didn't expect anything from him and was perfectly happy. I got home at 10:45 pm and at 11 pm, I got a text from him that simply said "Happy Anniversary", I have to be honest...I dropped to my knees and started sobbing and praying! I was so thankful for that little bit from him. I replied "Same to you, I married an incredible man and I feel very blessed to have had you as my husband, Thanks!" That was it. I was just glad he had at least thought about us on our day and that was about it.

I really don't get my hopes up anymore, but I do think that he is finally making a turn and all I can pray for at this point is for him to get as healthy as possible for our kids sake and maybe find a job up here, so he can be near his kids. What do all of you experts think? Since that text I have done nothing except talk to him breifly about the kids and his job hunting. I just continue to be an unconditional support to him, but is that good or bad? I just don't know if it makes me a push over and he sees me as weak or what.

A