When she got her job back a month ago with "normal" hours, I thought it would be great with both of us here in the morning. There would be less rushing around, and things would run smoothly. Just the opposite has happened. She is constantly yelling, telling the kids to hurry and do this and that, and telling me she can do it all. I have tried that, too, and she has mede the comment to the kids that she "can't do it all by her self".
None of the above.
Ask "W, how can I help you to get things running smoothly?"
Yep, "how can I help you?" is a powerful question.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I guess I'm missing the obvious. I have asked her that and she gives me the roll of her eyes and throws her hands up and lists the things to do; lunches, b'fast, brush teeth, get dressed...
I guess I should continue to ask and be prepared for her attitude and then happily go about doing whatever needs done?
I guess I should continue to ask and be prepared for her attitude and then happily go about doing whatever needs done?
Never put up with CB. Watch a John Wayne flick called "The Quiet Man" and see how he deals with CB.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I guess I'm missing the obvious. I have asked her that and she gives me the roll of her eyes and throws her hands up and lists the things to do; lunches, b'fast, brush teeth, get dressed... I guess I should continue to ask and be prepared for her attitude and then happily go about doing whatever needs done?
"W, if I want that kind of answer to a straight forward question I will call my mother."
I understand your scenarios, but then why do they get mad when WE try to help?
All he was doing was finishing the sandwiches.......
I was getting ready to ask the exact same question, Coach.
I know I raised my voice a little. I did not yell. It did catch me by surprise. What is the proper way to handle it? After I regained my composure, I went back to making lunches. When she was done eating, she got up and started to help and then slammed the pantry door and told me to go ahead and fininsh if I "just had to." WTF?
When women want your help they want it side by side it's social and working together- connection. Not to fix the problem or pick up the slack.
Had a pretty good weekend. Took the kids to a farm/amusement park this Sat. Hard to explain. They have some little kid rides, pig races, petting zoo, haunted house, hay ride, pumpkin and apple picking, bon fires, roasted hot dogs, etc. W set it up through the twins group she is Pres. of. I went for the kids. I understand how she works, finally. I am included in things she needs help with the kids and not in activities she thinks she can handle on her own.
We were invited on Sun. to a small hayride and party and I was not included. I made her tell the kids that I wasn't going. They weren't happy.
I asked her a couple of times if she has found any where to stay and didn't get an answer. She still won't leave so I guess I'm stuck for a while longer. It's okay, I have already mourned the loss of my W but don't look forward to losing my family.
A teacher from the kids' school called me on Fri. and asked what was going on with W and the super. I told her to tell me first what she had heard or suspected. Same old story, everything I suspected a year ago is the same thing she talked about. She said they were both warned several times and they and especially he, being an employee, denied it. I asked her, if it came down to it, if she or any other teachers would go to court on my behalf. She said she could only speak for herself and that she would be happy to help me however she could. She thought some others would, too.
I wish I would have done this a year ago instead of burying my head in the sand. I'm feeling pretty good about my custody case. There are several things the teacher said that would help prove she was not watching out for our kids' best interests while she was at school coaching.
She is only concerned with herself and no one else. Too bad the courts don't always take all of this into consideration.
I'm feeling pretty good about my custody case. There are several things the teacher said that would help prove she was not watching out for our kids' best interests while she was at school coaching.
She is only concerned with herself and no one else. Too bad the courts don't always take all of this into consideration.
I don't know about your state, but in mine, the default position is joint custody unless you can show some SERIOUS deficiency and neglect.
I don't know if you were talking about YOU being sure to get joint custody, or justifying full custody for yourself.
If it's the latter, you still want to think about the kids and not use custody as a punishment for your W. The kids want their parents, and depriving them of one won't be good for them unless they are getting abused/neglected. I don't think that is your intent.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
