XH is marrying OW after only 5 months of D!!

[lea74]

I have been giving some thought to the 'insecurity' aspect. As yeah you are both right, I am sure that I am experiencing insecurities at the moment - who wouldnt after being with someone for 21 years and then being cheated on and dumped.

However, I like the person that I am now. I will never go back to the person I was within the last few years of my marriage. Also, I would never take XH back. I could never be with someone who lies so much, not just to me but to his children.

All I want is to have a co-parenting relationship with the father of my children. At this stage I cant include her - I am not ready to do that yet. Maybe in time, - however my time for a change,not theirs. To date I have done everything according to his timeframe and wants. I even let him divorce me on grounds of unreasonable behaviour. (My church doesnt allow D unless on grounds of adultery and he swore blind she was just a friend and I niavely believed him. I also didnt want my sons to feel I had given up on my family by D their dad).

I dont think I am being unreasonable, however given the situation I do think my expectations are way too high.

Moving forward the only way I think I can preserve my sanity and actually help me focus on my sons and not given them anymore energy than they deserve, is to just ignore them. I seem to co-parent better with XH via email and not be involved with each other. We dont co-parent but rather parent seperatly. It is not ideal but for now it works.