My 40 year old wife's MLC

[Troy999]

Bill and Eric,
Thanks for the feedback. After reading what was said on this thread yesterday I had a good honest talk with myself about this situation. Its easy to say that my wife has lost her mind. Its hard to say I f'd this marriage up. I know my actions led me to where I am. No I never cheated on her, I just did not treat her the way she needed to be treated and I hope one day I can get another shot. I was a great protector and providor and a great father but I fell woefully short on the romance part and the treating her as an equal partner part. I started my own company 5 years ago with her blessing. I wish she had talked me out of it and I think I have been wollowing in my own self pity through the last two years and that is what drove her away. I find myself today energized about my business. I spent the morning meeting with a new company that will no doubt bring me great opportunities in 2011. My plan is to throw myself into my job and my kids. I was already there with my kids but no so much with my job. I have developed a defeatist attitude over the past several years and it makes me look very unatractive to my wife.

Eric,
I did keep my mouth shut last night at home. Talked about son's football game and my daughter's dance class. She does point and hurt her ankle last night. I went to the drug store and bought her some bandages and wrapped the ankle in ice while she did her homework.

I don't desire to punish my wife ever. I feel sorry for her that she in the depths of a MLC. Her mother, father, brother and his wife have all told her so point blank. To those close to use we have some very big issues to work on in our marriage but not enough for her to walk away from it. The fact that she does not even want to try hurt me initially but now with some perspective I realize exactly why she does not want to try. The thing I struggle with is that by detaching and keeping my mouth shut I wonder how she will ever see the changes I have made. I know after reading this thread and the wonderful feedback that I have to make the changes and be energized by them. Its the hardest thing I have ever been though. Before we had kids-after we had been married for 4 years my wife contracted Encephalitis and almost died. She spent 4 weeks in the ICU and before she dropped the bomb this summer that was the toughest time I had ever been through. She pulled through and after about 6 months of rehab she regained a normal life.

I am up to the task and know it will take a long time. I feel like I have a game plan to follow and for that I am most grateful. Its got to start with my attitude and today I feel great. Thanks.