he moved her in. 3 days after he told d14 that he would be at some point. (nothing like giving a heads up!)
then on her weekend.. he took new woman on a date and left d14 to babysit (she did have a friend over) but it was his weekend with her - he used her to be a babysitter.
he has now got a new "Family". brings boy to her games - and brought new woman as well. i met her - actually stood proud, shook her hand and introduced myself.
it is all so strange. he comes to softball to see his daughter and leaves with boy. goes off to his new family.
it has messed with my head some.. she seems to be everything that i wasn't. "money, high society, fake boobs.." so often in our marriage i felt "less then". He had a way of making me feel like that.. some of our fights were about him making me feeling like trash.. like someone lower then him. And now - now he has this woman...
on the outside he looks wealthy, handsome, happy. i think he is.. i still can't disconnect. i want to.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
No one can make you feel 'less than' unless you let them.
Sweetie, why do you let him still have this power over you?
Your XH is still running looking for happiness because he either can't or refuses to look inside. His choice and nothing you can do about it.
That's why he would run you down because it was the only way he could try and make himself feel better. That wasn't working anymore so he escalated and continues to do so.
You're free of this now and it's your choice what you do with this gift.
I hope when and if the time comes, I can stand with half the dignity you did meeting the OW. But don't let it get you down. You know the best of your H, which you miss, and you are overlooking the worst of your H, which you know lurks.
Not that many woman with no long history with a man will stay through that. Oh, and the boy thing. That is a stinger. My H totally ignores his own grands and makes over OW's kid like he was the prince of princes.
They are such idiots. Cagz, no one will replace the mother of his children, remember that. He is not happy, he is living a lie. He is not able to have any real relationship. This is a farce...
You handled it with dignity and grace. No one could have handled it any better. You should be proud of yourself.....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
more selfish behavior. i guess it is just the norm.
About a month or so ago x bought another dog for d14. This one was a jack russell terrier. Long story behind this but he wanted one when we were married (we already have 2 dogs) one of the few times I said NO.
Well..... since new lady and son moved in aparently she has become bad. she was kinda having issues before.. but it has "worsened" so what does he do but begin to "prepare the way" to get rid of her.
Last night she got the phone call that he was going to have to get rid of her...
d14 sobbed. it was something he purchased FOR HER specifically. He said it was.
I am now being put in a real crappy situation.. I have a plan.. which is to tell him I need X amount of $$ to do dog training and I want her shots up-to-date... and then I will take her.
He won't do it... he may but I will be surprised. THe money and the dog have to come on the same day. He is not trustworthy to do it later.
I told d14 the idea... she is ok with it. BUT KNOWS that this is not what I want.... but I will AGAIN pick up his crap and clean up his mess....
4 weeks in a row that he has done something to BREAK her heart!!! She and I had a REAL heart to heart about WHO he is last night... he led teh way on this one.
I told her he was selfish and mean. That you don't just throw away something because it isn't working for you. I told her to start gaurding her heart ... not that she shouldn't love him.. but when she gets that "feeling" in her stomach that he is plotting his way to prepare herself.
What is sad.. She KNEW what I meant. She has experienced it tons lately. He has just gotten faster at his moves.
Hurting me.. that was one thing. My KIDS.. ANOTHER.
This am when we were on our way to school I told her this.
"you know how I was/am about your dad hurting you? well have you noticed I am that way about anyone hurting you? I am a momma bear.. you are my bear cub... someone hurts you and I wanna bite their head off." I told her that it wasn't "HER DAD" it was someone hurting her that I was angry at....
She got it... doesn't make it any easier though.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
oh get this.. he and family #2 are looking for a rental house.. after he picked up d14 tonight (he brought new family along) they drove by one... it is about a half mile away from me..
and t -- you are welcome to hurt him.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
