Nothing mutual here at all - just my self preservation, I've come too far becoming what I like in myself to go on having to look over my shoulder for the next storm to rain on me!
DD
Me 49 H 46 M 23yrs T 25 yrs Bomb Drop 4/2010 S22/D19/D15/S13
Same roof, different beds
"Honestly I can say this trip into my own private hell is a journey that I know now I had to take."
Well first interview with lawyer, on to # 2 on Monday. W said s14 is wondering if we're having martial issues, she told him that we would both talk to the kids about it. I told her to be prepared to own the D decision as I will not have this presented to them as a mutual decision.
She's stated she's done again this morning during a heated conversation, and that she will not leave the home. This is so great for kids and myself, I am getting so angry that she is doing this to them and isn't acknowledging what this process is going to do to their way of life - my love and attention is all I can provide to them, but the fact that they will lose their home and everything they are accustom to really is making my blood boil.
I hope that I can prove to the court that her previous EA and current EA with married men "just friends" will provide enough grounds for a motion to have her leave the home - CA is a tough state as far a D law goes.
Man I am pissed off!
DD
Me 49 H 46 M 23yrs T 25 yrs Bomb Drop 4/2010 S22/D19/D15/S13
Same roof, different beds
"Honestly I can say this trip into my own private hell is a journey that I know now I had to take."
Don't be pissed. Channel that energy away, it'll just distract you and make you jump to poor decisions. Focus on what you want, where you want to be, your goals, and then create concrete plans to achieve them.
Thanks for the support - I'll vent it all off by tonight I'm sure, I'll hit the movies with the kids, and I have an overnight trip this weekend with my car club to Tahoe - going to party like there's no one watching - will be a slow drive home Sunday morning with expected hangover (first one anticipated in over a year!)- I need to let it rip a bit and live!
DD
Me 49 H 46 M 23yrs T 25 yrs Bomb Drop 4/2010 S22/D19/D15/S13
Same roof, different beds
"Honestly I can say this trip into my own private hell is a journey that I know now I had to take."
Update - was informed by W that she filed for D on Thursday, and we told the kids Friday - I did make sure she told them it was her decision. Kids D16, S14 were very upset but seem fine now as nothing has "changed" yet- she also has told them that no one is leaving now? I told her to leave again, short version and again she will not leave period and I can't make her go.
She retained her L and filed for uncontested, told her that mediation would be the better option here in Calif for legal costs as one L handles all IF we can negotiate. I'm consulting L #2 Monday am and have a complete set of new questions now.
On the upside I had a great weekend in Tahoe that I really needed, timing was perfect for me to be out all day with friends on Saturday and back with the kids Sunday.
No one has packed up and left and I'n not sure how that will work, can't afford two homes and all our bills - beats the heck out of me how this works or doesnt work - guess I'll find out tomorrow.
Thanks
DD
Me 49 H 46 M 23yrs T 25 yrs Bomb Drop 4/2010 S22/D19/D15/S13
Same roof, different beds
"Honestly I can say this trip into my own private hell is a journey that I know now I had to take."
