I think all of you responding to my post are men - hard to tell with the screen names. If not, I do apologize. And men know men. How you are all wired. What works, what doesn't. But why would this work?? If the goal is to reconcile with him, what does kicking him out do (other than ending the current drama, it creates a different kind of drama, not just for me but for my beautiful children as well). Will he start to miss me/us? Will that "missing" be authentic? When he left the first time, I toughened up and that is when he came back. But to what end? Obviously he wasn't ready to come back - so why did he? Creature comforts? And if I ask him to leave, he will go to her. She is going full-court press right now - sending him pornographic pictures of herself (masturbating) via e-mail. She is appealing to an organ I can't at the moment. I'm trying to appeal to the heart. And you ask why I would want a man like this? Actually, I don't. I want my old H back. Not this dude. I have no stinkin' idea who this dude is. Never seen him before a couple of months ago.
And do you men know how I should handle this based upon your own experiences, either as the WAH or the LBS?? If so, please, please share with me. Connecting with people who have used methods that are successful helps me so much - hearing about their process helps so much.
Gr8 - not to be "braggy", but I do look good. And hey! I even smell good too But regardless, right now I can't compete with her "golden punani", you know? Not sure why I would want to as she is obviously not a person of character and quality. But still.
Is what you are doing working?
Sitting by while he carries on like this isn't attractive to men. It's shows to him that you can be plan B and you are OK with it. He will resent you for it if he comes back. Why - because why would you be OK with it, must be something wrong with you. It's not a great example to show your kids and both of you know it. Being a doormat doesn't make you seem valuable because you don't value yourself.
Lovingly detach - Love (love your neighbor as yourself) would you allow another family to camp in your backyard, eat your food, play with your kids toys, use you electricity & water and steal your cable TV. All while giving nothing in return except them telling you that they are going to decide if they are going to stay because of how you treat them?
Boundaries.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
But regardless, right now I can't compete with her "golden punani", you know? Not sure why I would want to as she is obviously not a person of character and quality. But still.