When you guys got married, you being in the military, she knew what may lie ahead...
I am sorry you find yourself here, truly I am and not to be down on you, however when you yourself gave her permission to bring another man into the marriage, you need to truly ask yourself what did you expect?
Marriage is sacred IMO, there are ups and there are downs, you ride these out together...You were deployed, did you cheat? After giving her permission to do it, did you turn around and do it yourself?
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
No I didnt cheat. I explored the intimacy we had as a result of her being honest with me about it. Then as she and I got involved in day to day raising of our child, we had less time for each other.. kept looking for the intimacy and I kept bringing up her and her affair from the past.. leading to more resentment on both parts. See that is my responsibilty in this part. She has been faithful to me up to August.. when I was away again.. many many factors here.. her possible MLC, new change of finance, career, life decisions. Me away for extended period. Son in school and mainting household.. can be a bit much.. plus I was fighting with her because she was pulling away becasue her TKD friend gives her support..
Serenity please dont take offense to this but I see your dead set against any reconcile of my R because of your judgment.. so I appreciate it but I see no help in your comments.
M:42 W:39 S:9 M:20 T:25 D-bomb: 30 Sep 10 Wife changed her mind: 31 Oct 10 Working on it: 31 Oct 10
Serenity please dont take offense to this but I see your dead set against any reconcile of my R because of your judgment.. so I appreciate it but I see no help in your comments.
Serenity please dont take offense to this but I see your dead set against any reconcile of my R because of your judgment..
That's called mind reading. It's what you did when you thought your wife needed to be with another man so you encouraged it. Women want their men to fight for and stand up for them. It's attractive.
As long as you allow your wife to attend TKD with the OM you will be stuck.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
No offense taken, just making sure your eyes are wide open as to everything going on around you.
I have said nothing about R in your relationship so don't put words in my mouth, I didn't judge, just stated back what you had said. Don't try to mindread me, it can't be done.
I would like nothing more than to see all of the newbies here R, however sometimes it just isn't an option and you need to make sure you realize this.
I am not here to stroke your ego, if you don't like what I have to say, that is your option, however don't come here looking for a magic wand to fix your marriage.
You need to drop the pursuing and work on you, focus on your child and yourself.
Originally Posted By: Pensacolabroken
get her to move to a Neutral place to be able to TRIAGE the R
Stop focusing on this because this...
Originally Posted By: Pensacolabroken
She refuses to look at the future, because she is busy rewriting the past
is what you are going to get.
Originally Posted By: Pensacolabroken
how you would set a boundry on this?
W, if you want to come to MC to work on our marriage, wonderful, however I am going to be in there to work on this together, not sitting outside doing homework with S.
MC is for 2 partners who both are wanting to work on their marriage, not just one.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Trust me on this. No one who posts on this board is set against any reconciliation. Advice is given freely, honestly, and based on the info provided. Take a step back and realize this.
If you expect the forum posters to parrot what you are thinking and feeling (which is natural and comforting) you'll be missing out on years of wisdom, pain and suffering that everyone here has been through.
Good advice is like good medicine. Often it hurts.
