You can't have everything, where would you put it?

[ClingingToHope]

Wii, everyone is different. You seem to be an introvert. I'm an extrovert. I get my energy by being around people. Yes. A lot of my posts are about STBXW. This is kind of my online journal and I was reviewing where I am now compared with where I was a year ago and I've come a long way.

This morning I did a body pump class at the health club. A coworker has been trying to get me to go for weeks, but it never worked out.

Last night, a lady in the growth group who I'm friends with on Facebook asked if I'd go. I sensed she also needed someone to talk to. So I got myself up and went and it was good and she is having some troubles and she was glad I was there. Before you think it, there's no potential for anything here other than friendship. I don't see her that way. She really embraced me when I joined the growth group. I think part of it is we are the only true liberals in the group.

I'll go again next Friday. They have four classes a week. Even I'm not that crazy to get up four times a week for a 5 a.m. class.

I remember you gave me advice once to go off into the woods for a weekend and contemplate the loss. That works for some. For me, it'd be a lost weekend. And I've had those weekends. I spent most of last summer working weekends doing those running races. There's lots of dead time and my head would spin in circles and nothing would get resolved. The only that's worked is to put one foot in front of the other until the day is done ... and then day after day after day it's gotten better.

As far as the Green Ball, I hope you're wrong and it's not just a brush off. If it is, oh well, I tried and that's a big step, just trying. I hate rejection. Almost all of the major relationships I've had I didn't ask the lady out until after I knew she was interested and would say yes.

So if she says no I'll ask another lady I'm interested in. A big thing that has changed between now and May is that I'm not desperate to find someone to prove something to STBXW or to fill my addiction to being in a relationship.

With STBXW I let my ego lead the way. I could tell there were things about her that I didn't like -- the silence, never smiling, lack of self confidence. But I was just so into the fact someone who had no interest in me in high school wanted me after college that I ignored it.

Now, I'm trying to find someone who -- if you took sex out of the equation -- I could just enjoy being with. That was never the case with STBXW.

Church_35 could be someone like that. She's extremely intelligent. Has a deep faith and doesn't need fixing.

The only way to find out is to ask her out.