Ran 5K when I got home, in prep for my race on Sun. Noticed a phone number and name written on a piece of paper. Turns out it was the housing place my wife had talked to in June. When the girls were busy, my wife explained that the lady at the housing called her and said that there were no openings now, and that W should call her back to let her know what to do. I asked what she was going to tell the lady. She said "that I don't need it." She had tears in her eyes, and I asked her why, she said "Because I'll do anything for my babies."
We talked later about me moving out. She said she thought that we had agreed to stay together since the finances were better that way, and for the girls. She said being financially secure was huge for her. I listened and validated, told her that I was leaning more towards separation though. That staying together like this, just for the girls and finances would be really unhealthy for me, for her, and the girls.
Now when I wake up, I realize we're both right. Financially it's a no-brainer. And the girls would probably be better off assuming W and I can remain on good terms so that there's no fighting or anything.
If I leave, I'll end up happy. But I won't have any money, I won't be able to provide as well for my daughters like I want. Even when our debts are payed off, there just won't be much money to go around.
And I realize that I had expectations; that staying together would eventually lead to reconciling. That was dumb.
The easy thing from an emotional standpoint is to move out. I wouldn't be deceiving myself about what was happening in our R.
Oh, and irony. While talking last night, my W asked me how I could be so detached about the sitch.
