Newbie, H left and wants D, please help

[Sky's Wife]

Let him go, pack up his stuff, do what you want with the house, he doesn't want you as is. Stop all pursuing. He knows he can have you no matter what.

He wants what he can't have so be what he can't have. Understand? [/quote]

I guess you are right Coach. I already let go, don't call him and don't initiate any kind of communication. As things are now, packing his stuff will be a very much needed 180, first of all to keep those last bits of my dignity and demand some respect.

As of why I want to be married to a guy who cheated on me repeatedly, as pinhed asked me, I guess I cling to warm memories of the first ten years, when I was loved, cherished, protected and pampered by him, and memories of so many good times even in these times after Feb 2001 when he returned home.

Generally, he is a nice guy, intelligent, skillful, and, when himself, he is fun to be around. I liked his logical thinking, we share an engineering profession, interest in aviation and skydiving (thats where we met actually) and the same taste in music, food...a number of those little things. He doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, is careful with money and had a huge credit with me for being excellent father and taking care of the house repairment.

His suicide attempt in 2000 also played a big role. I was scared to death, but with a time distance, I came to believe it was a manipulation to blame me and impose guilt on me. Sure he was severely depressed, but what led him there was not my fault. This time he repeated a lot what I've already heard then, and it scared me initially and I wanted to help. I am not sure he is not playing the blame/guilt game again.