yeah, for starters you can kick him out of the bed until he can determine what he wants.
Better yet (and I would still kick him out of the bed and make him sleep somewhere else, backyard maybe under the deck ), go up to him and ask him his opinion on something, "Husband... Are you OK with watching the kids tonight, I'm going out for a couple of hours. I was out grocery shopping and this interesting younger guy asked me for my phone number and asked if I would be interested in going out for some coffee/drinks. I should be back by 10/11pm tonight" .... and then come home at 2am.
And then ask him to start sleeping on the couch.
And then make the decision for him, he can have the other woman, you've been thinking about it and you're not sure you love him the way a wife should love her husband and that he would be happier with her and you are fine with it.
And then ask him to start packing and move out.
And then tell him that you will file for divorce and he should hear from your lawyer within a few weeks.
That is what would work better than detaching lovingly and giving him time to make a decision. If you aren't your husband's first choice and it's really that hard a decision for him to make, why would you want a husband like that? Is your self-esteem that low? If so, that is sad, get thee some counseling and start feeling better about yourself, you aren't optional just because he makes you feel that way.
