Wife is cheating, am sad but confused?

[HopelessInLove]

GK,
Yes, Kids are definately my main focus, priority #1. Listed as they came to mind. But staying relaxed must be a very high goal otherwise I would not be able to focus on anything else.

I was an absolute mess when I first found out W LMBNILWM. She wound act as though she had very little to do with our R/M falling apart. I had no confidence thinking I let the woman I loved down. Let say that you had a test, studied for the test and failed, would that not hurt? Then you find out that there would be a test next week on the same material, and you study even harder. This time you are confident you know the information. You take the test and get the score back and it was worse than last week. Would that not destroy your confidence? No matter what you did the results were poor. Then you find out that the teacher was manipulating both test questions somehow just to make your answers wrong. So you found out that maybe you were not perfect but your answers were right for the questions. My W was making me beleive I was at fault not her. But I know now and am confident that I did not single-handedly creat this hole in our marriage. She changed the questions to make my look like I failed. I know now W was changing the questions or rules as it applied to our R/M.

No, I am not saying that I feel great and am over-confident about that, great my W is having A! What I am saying is that I am not the horses behind or the door mat, I know more about the problems. As far as knowing what the OM is doing for W, well if by the grace of God I have a chance with my W wanting to reconcile then I will know my own flaws. I can work on them and be that better man. If we do end up D then I will better understand what needs to be done to help in future R.

Lastly, I called two L and they were about a 3-4 week wait to get in to see them. I did make an appointment and will see them next week. So, I will in a way have style and see a L, no half heartedly. Some how I don't see that as style but will run with it at this point. W will not be able to see either of these L because of conflict of interest. So mission accomplished.

I did see W tonight breifly. Had to drop off D after dance class. W asked yesterday if I was going to stay for dinner tonight and told her maybe. I thought I really don't because the way she has been so angry with me, and I felt that she would think she needs to take care of me. She has in the past said how I expect her to take care of me (all in her head). But I also had a viewing of a family friend to go to. So, I declined dinner. Then, W started in on her going to see a friend tomorrow night when I had the kids. Her statement was that I am always asking her where she is off to and wondering where she is at. At this point I really don't care, and I did not in the past grill her on where she was going. Her final comment was because I have nothing to hide. I just bit my lip (yes, the A you are hiding, and no I will not tell you I am going to see a L- the one you wanted), told her to have a good time, and that I did not have a problem with her going places in the past. Her statement was "I don't want to argue with you." I walked away. My smart remarks were at a bear minimum. Still trying to detach.