IB, I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time! It will get better. I promise.
The single thing that helped me the most was learning all I could about MLC. It helped me to quit blaming myself for his crisis, forgive myself for my human failings in the M, forgive him for his hurtful behavior, accept that he would be on his long journey of self-discovery (if he was brave enough to choose that path) for some time, and move forward in the meantime on my own. It brought a profound sense of acceptance and peace. BUT it took a while. For me, about 18 months post-B. Not because I am a slow learner, because I'm not. I think it took me so long because I had been with my H for so long -- 40 years -- and I still loved him deeply. I still do, but our paths have diverged right now. Who knows where they will lead iin the future?
IB, keep reading, learning, posting. It will get better. Honest.
(((Irish)))
M 65 H 64 T 39 & M 36 @ S 12/08 Two Ds
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ~ The Weather Man
