Wife is cheating, am sad but confused?

[Grocerykartman]

HIL,

Of your 3 reasons for doing this,let me ask you this:

To boost your confidence, how is it boosting your confidence? Do you actually feel better about anything since you've been spying? Do you feel better about yourself? If so, may I ask how?

To know what OM is doing for your wife, ask yourself WHY do you want to know? What will you do or are you doing with this information?

Your 3rd reason, to protect yourself, is the best one to actually spy, and I can't really argue with that if she's seriously ready to file and you have to address her. But if you are to this point, and maybe I forgot what you have already posted, why haven't you contacted your own L already with this info? Don't wait for her to get a leg up on you, you already sound apprehensive of the one potential L she could hire. If you feel the need to protect yourself, don't go half heartedly...do that in style.

Just an observation too, if you prioritize being a great dad #1 instead of 3, the I think #1, #2 and #4 will fall into place much more easily for you. I know you probably just listed those off in no particualr order, but think of #3 as your #1. ALWAYS! Your kids are the best people you have in your life to bring out your true happiness and confidence. Love them like you never have before.