IB, I'm sorry if I am adding to any confusion you may be feeling.
And let me start by saying everything you are feeling isnt any different than what most of us have felt at the beginning of all this.
So first things first. I thought my h was having the time of his life. No responsibilities, none. Living the single life, traveling, being with ow. Know what? He wasnt. Know how I know? I asked him one day. I said, so, are you happy? He said, I'm not. I'm getting there. Three years later, still not happy.
Now I am not suggesting you ask your h. I was way down the road and in a much different place than you are. But I tell you this because you should not assume anything.
And you know what? It doesnt really matter if he's happy or not. What matters is if you are.
You did not cause his MLC. You did not.
I suggest to everyone that when they are looking to see what changes to themselves that they need to make, they start with looking at who they were within the marriage. It's a starting off point towards change.
And let me tell you, at the beginning of all this, I could not think of one thing I always wanted to do. Not one. But slowly, over time, I figured it out. And you will too.
Here's the key. You have to be open to it.
And the way to become open to it is to put the focus on you. You are still way too stuck on your h and if he is happy and if he forgives you.
The heck with him right now. You forgive you.
You have been given a wonderful opportunity here, IB.
This was a journey you were meant to take.
I loved being a wife and mother, too.
But I have also loved finding my way. I have gotten my Associates degree, widened my circle of friends, traveled, changed my hair, my clothes, lost weight.
But the best thing I have done is look in that mirror. And you know what? I like what I see.
I see someone who has overcome a lot of hardship. I see someone who has found her strength and her sense of humor again. I see someone who has a great capacity to love and forgive.
