Robex I loved your post, man I wished you would have laid into me like that a few months ago:-)
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
Thank you for coming back around and giving me some advice and insight. Is this a tactic to get her out the door or one to make her think and bring her back around? I can put on an act and make it fairly convincing.
Reach down, between your legs. Notice something missing? She's got them in her purse.
It's not an act. She's screwing someone else. How does that make you feel? Do you want to stay with someone while they screw someone else? Get some righteous indignation. Don't show it to her, do it just like Robx. Be as cool as a cucumber, be Bond. Be Cary Grant.
Then give her what she wants, with a smile on her face. It might not be what she wants, and she'll realize that. It might be exactly what she wants, and it'll save you months of heartache.
Then keep taking care of your kids, keep getting healthy.
Don't put too much into the sex. She's trying to make sure that if things don't work out with OM, she can still control you.
I'll give you something to do tomorrow, the first step:
- go to the mall,
I assume tomorrow is here already
Step 2. Read this:
In it is a desciption of the most successful technique you can use to turn your marital problems around.
Quote:
About a year ago, I became addicted to chatting online, especially with strangers, particularly men. It got to the point that I opened a secret Facebook account, started playing games online, and started chatting with people I was “meeting” thru the games. Conversation would turn to my marriage, and how I felt I wasn’t getting the attention I wanted/deserved from my husband.
I made many of these friends. Things escalated. Suddenly I had all these secret “friends” in my life. The conversation was not always wholesome, in fact, sometimes it was quite damning. In some cases I became emotionally involved. I started chatting with some of them on Skype. Sometimes video chat was used. I said nasty things about my husband that weren’t true, but I liked all the attention I was getting. I did nasty things that I can’t bare to put into words on a public forum.
My husband became suspicious. Asked who I was staying up late chatting with on Skype. I lied and said I was talking to my sister. He did some detective work and discovered the truth. Evidently for some weeks he was monitoring my online socializing without my knowing. Like I said, the things I said and did on there were damning. I had no idea he knew anything was going on.
Two weeks ago, when I came home from work, he confronted me in the driveway. He had already moved his things out. The only thing he said to me was “You can’t do this and be with me. I’m leaving. You’ll be served in a few days. And served I was. During the next few days, I left desperate voicemails, asking him to go to therapy, telling him I loved him, etc.
We have had one face to face conversation sine he left. He didn’t want to be alone with me, so he asked my sister to supervise. During that conversation, at the advice of my therapist, I said almost nothing. I just listened. He only wanted to speak about divorce and what he wanted and did not want in the divorce. I only said, that I needed time to think about it, and I hope we could reconcile and be stronger than ever. He says it’s not an option. I did say I was sorry, which he doesn’t believe.
Okay just ONCE I want to see someone follow the advice STRAIGHT up from the get-go. Please please be this person, Prooney!
DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Originally Posted By: robx
When you actually get her to sit down, you tell her "look I've been thinking about things and I've decided that I agree with you, we should separate and get a divorce. I'm not going to spend weeks or months trying to convince you or anyone else to be with me. Life is too short for that. Since you've been seeing this other guy, I have to assume stuff has happened between the two of you and I can't settle for someone who would cheat on their spouse and I'm no one's second option and I won't wait for you to have your fun & freedom with this guy and then later decide it was a mistake and want to come back home. If it's easy enough for you to get a boyfriend, I think it's easy enough for me to find a new girlfriend. I've gotten a few legal consultations and I will be filing for joint custody, 50/50 shared custody and I will get it. You will need to look for another place to live, the sooner the better, you wanted a divorce and you wanted to find another boyfriend, well now you can have that and you can also be the one to move out. It wasn't my decision to end the marriage and break up the family, it was yours but I can handle your decision and I can make a few more decisions of my own concerning all of this. I don't want you sleeping in the master bedroom anymore, you can sleep in the kids rooms or the couch, basement, whatever, that part is up to you. I will help you pack your things, I can bring home moving boxes from work tomorrow and I can even help you move your things to your new place when you find it. I will set up a separate chequing account, and list expenses so that you can start paying your half around here. That's all I have to say for now and I won't be discussing this any further, I've made up my mind and this is WHAT I WANT. We can still be civil with regards to being parents but that's it, I hope you understand."
Get up, leave the room, pull out your phone, call someone, anyone, don't mention their name on the phone, just say something like "Hey you wanted to go out for some coffee, I can meet you in @ 30min., cool, see you in a bit, bye!" If the wife follows you, and starts to ask questions and talk or even get argumentative, just put up your hand in a stop motion and tell her that you've said your peace and don't want to talk about it anymore, you need space from her after what's she's done.
Thank you for coming back around and giving me some advice and insight. Is this a tactic to get her out the door or one to make her think and bring her back around? I can put on an act and make it fairly convincing.
read steve's latest post, that post is from a woman, a woman desperately wanting her husband back after he decided he wouldn't put up with her crap anymore.
This isn't a tactic, this is your life we're talking about, get real about it.
just posting what steve placed in quotes, just because it's easier to read this way:
"..About a year ago, I became addicted to chatting online, especially with strangers, particularly men. It got to the point that I opened a secret Facebook account, started playing games online, and started chatting with people I was “meeting” thru the games. Conversation would turn to my marriage, and how I felt I wasn’t getting the attention I wanted/deserved from my husband.
I made many of these friends. Things escalated. Suddenly I had all these secret “friends” in my life. The conversation was not always wholesome, in fact, sometimes it was quite damning. In some cases I became emotionally involved. I started chatting with some of them on Skype. Sometimes video chat was used. I said nasty things about my husband that weren’t true, but I liked all the attention I was getting. I did nasty things that I can’t bare to put into words on a public forum.
My husband became suspicious. Asked who I was staying up late chatting with on Skype. I lied and said I was talking to my sister. He did some detective work and discovered the truth. Evidently for some weeks he was monitoring my online socializing without my knowing. Like I said, the things I said and did on there were damning. I had no idea he knew anything was going on.
Two weeks ago, when I came home from work, he confronted me in the driveway. He had already moved his things out. The only thing he said to me was “You can’t do this and be with me. I’m leaving. You’ll be served in a few days. And served I was. During the next few days, I left desperate voicemails, asking him to go to therapy, telling him I loved him, etc.
We have had one face to face conversation sine he left. He didn’t want to be alone with me, so he asked my sister to supervise. During that conversation, at the advice of my therapist, I said almost nothing. I just listened. He only wanted to speak about divorce and what he wanted and did not want in the divorce. I only said, that I needed time to think about it, and I hope we could reconcile and be stronger than ever. He says it’s not an option. I did say I was sorry, which he doesn’t believe.
I would do anything to get him back."
So what do you think worked here? Was it a tactic? Or was it being so real with his wife, to let her know that it was over, that it was his decision and not giving her any doubt about what he wanted.
What steve posted could pretty much be one of the best things you will ever read on this site.
