Had a great night with the kids, dropped S off at school and took D to W's house. I was giving the D a hug and kiss and the W asked when I leave town?(going to Vegas for a buddy's wedding) Told her tomorrow, then she asked when do you get back, I said tuesday, then she asked what time tuesday? I said around 6 PM. I said gotta go and left.
DOnt know if she was trying to make small talk or what but I answered her questions, she really doesnt need to know the details of my trip for any other reason than small talk. If she is reaching I am no where close to being in her grasp. This ship has been at sea for a long time!!!
Back from Vegas for my Buddy's wedding, had a blast hung out with some old school friends who live there now, they all hate it!!! HAHA, tried to call the kids a few times while out there, the W did not answer, received a text the next day saying they have all been sick and to call earlier. I finally talked to the kids the last day I was there, after i spoke to the kids the W got on the phone about me seeing them this week. She asked If I could take them today, the day I came back, I said yes and met her at a gas station to pick them up. The W kept smiling and looking at me as i spoke with the kids, my S lost his first tooth while I was gone and I praised him for being such a big boy! the W had a grin from ear to ear listening to me talk to the kids!
I took the kids home and the W called about an hour before their bedtime, I hit the talk button and handed the phone to D, D talked to W for a while then I handed the phone to S, S didnt want to talk to W So as I picked up the phone, W starts to ask about my trip and it lead to chit chat, she then asked if D wanted her doll, I asked D who said yes she does, and the W was in the area? W told me this, probably wondering if I would ask her why she was in the are, I didnt ask, didnt inquire just told her she could drop it off.
As the W showed up so did the roommate, W walked in gave D the doll and left. Dont know if she wanted to stay around more, but when the roommate showed up I think it changed the dynamics. I didnt let it phase me, she left and then texted me with " the houses here are gorgeous" I sent a text back about 15 mins later saying " did you mean to send me the last text?" she replied yeah!, I said I havent driven through the whole area, and I left it at that. No response from her after that.
I feel good still, have days where I want my family together, but at the same time my focus has been a famliy is still a family, I have to be strong for my kids and make shure they know their father is always there for them period!
Had a great night with the kids, took S to school and dropped D off at their mother's. My S was very sad when i dropped him a t school, I just gave him hugs and told him daddy and mommy both love you very much. He is having a tough time with this. And it is killing me, he said mommy has not talked to him about her and I, so I decided to tell him that we are not getting along and that is why we are taking a break. And I reassured him that we both love him very much. This is the toughest part, the kids.
I realized something this morning that has always been troubling me since things went pear shaped; I will always love my daughters. Being apart from them won't change how I feel towards them, it might even intensify the feelings. For a long time I worried that I would lose that connection; now I know that if you work at maintaining the connection, giving them unconditional love and support, they'll return it to you.
This was incredibly freeing for me. Hope it helps you too.
PH, I get your message, I love my kids so much, I called to talk to them tonight and I get the VM. She continues to be somewhat evasive, I have to be strong and not get angry. My S lost his first tooth and he couldnt wait to tell daddy. My kids want to be me with me as much as they can, and I have to make sure I do what I can to make that happen!
Yes, dsh, your kids definitely want to see you! Keep at it! Kids are amazing, and I think have a sixth sense. My kids, young as they are, have actually been great sources of support for me during my separation. There have even been a couple of times when I've been a little down (like maybe staring off into space), and I think they sensed it. They behaved extra good and even came up and gave me unsolicited hugs and pats, with my D5 saying, "I love you so much, Daddy." Incredible.
Me-53 W-49 D22,D18,D15 T-Since-12/2001 Married-9/2004 She Moved Out-5/28/2010 Piecing start-04/2011 Now-together Thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2079304
Been off for a while, nothing really has changed. I have not heard from my L or her L on the proposal I sent to get this over with. She has been very quiet, upbeat on the phone some days, down others. I only contact in regards to the kids, she is very short. She took the kids for the weekend to her family's and ignored my calls for 3 days when I wanted to talk to the kids.
Had some pics from my trip to vegas on my FB which she can still see, dont know if those got her pissed or not, at this point I dont care. Except when she goes silent in regards to the kids. Other than that, working a lot spending a lot of time in the gym and just enjoying my life right now.
So I pick up my kids tonight, and the W tells me to drop D off at daycare in the morning instead of her house. I dont ask why, just say ok. She calls tonight and as usual I hand the phone to the kids to talk to her. D chats it up, S doesnt want to talk to her. She then gets on the phone with me and asks if S is quiet tonight. I say not too bad, she doesnt go into detail, and just say he is fine. D smacks her head on the couch and I .tell W I gotta go, she then talks a bit and I hang up. That was the end of it. She has not in the past called on nights I have taken the kids, since she saw them 3 hours earlier, but it is what it is.
So maybe she is seeing someone now, it started to cross my mind, but after a short while I started to think its gonna happen sooner or later, might as well be sooner. So i get myself in the mindset that she is, and I dont feel bad. I have been dating so I cant be angry. It gets easier day by day, I will get through this.....
