So, all in all, should I really start the LRT in earnest, and accept some dinner invitations but not all until I feel like there's a give and take, or should I just go and continue to be frustrated at her lack of interest in anything? Also, is it normal to wonder why I am fighting so hard for this anyway? I am piecing back together my self-esteem but I feel like a fool sometimes for wanting to carry on with someone who appears to want much less to do with me. Is it possible for her to have an EA with herself? How do I convey the respect that she wants and needs?
Thanks for reading this novel. I'm 29. She's 27. No kids (although I would like to have some.) And please let me know if I'm being a jerk in all of this.
Fur,
Welcome to the board. Things are a bit slower lately due to some board drama, but you'll find some help here.
1. She's moved out. Has she said anything about a lawyer? Have you consulted with one yet? How long have you been together/married? Are you sharing finances?
2. Your needs are your needs. Don't feel like you need to defend them. Wanting sex more than once a month sure as hell isn't "desparate." Nor are the other two points.
3. When you two date, don't talk about the R. Never bring up the R if you can, and if she does, just listen to her. Really listen and try to validate what she feels.
4. Keep up with your GAL activities.
5. Stuff she says about the past, take with a grain of salt. Rewriting history (intentionally and unintentionally) is common.
You're not a jerk, and you're not acting like a jerk. When you go on dates, do you just go to a restaurant, eat, stare at each other, then feel uncomfortable? Or are you doing fun, engaging things? Things out of the ordinary? Things that'll break her out of her boredom...
I'm not sure there's an OM involved, since she's still willing to see you. But she could also just be keeping you around til she finds Mr. Right.
Could she have been taking the trip to be with someone? A coworker since the trip was advertised ostensibly as "business?"
