Thanks robx...you've asked and answered the questions that I was afraid to ask because I didn't want to hear the answers.
You know I don't envy the position you're in, it sucks being afraid.
But it is just fear, you won't die from it (unless you're 100 years old and have a heart condition).
She wasn't afraid of losing you when she had the affairs and when she slept with another man.
Thank about that attitude she had when that happened.
She wasn't afraid, she was pretty confident to be able to make that decision, and she's pretty confident to say things like "I'm taking YOU back!"
She still isn't afraid, she's still pretty confident she's in charge.
She can't be afraid to lose you. She has you, she has had you all this time and she knows it.
You are afraid, you've probably been afraid for quite some time. Fear of loss will do that to a person.
Now, flip it over to her.
Fear of loss could make her smarten up, it could make her finally see what she's going to lose or it may not and if it doesn't, well then you know what kind of person you're married to and even that is a good thing because it just validates your decision to move on.
But for fear of loss to work, it has to be real, she hasn't had to fear losing you because you've never presented her with that reality.
