Have you noticed a pattern when you two have fights? Perhaps the presence of alcohol? Did she have much to drink?
Also, I know that late at night when you're both in bed is an obvious time to have a R talk, but don't. One, you don't want to have R talks right now. Just curb the impulse. Two, you're both tired, both mentally exhausted, and you inevitably will say things that might be phrased differently had you been more alert and aware.
