i am most disappointed in myself that i was not able to turn myself around. i feel that i am back to square one. i came a long way and ended up back where i started.
i am seeing a new ic. she's not bad. although she's worried that my mental state is beyond her capability.
lately i have been pushing everyone away - including my family.
i've closed up like a clam. i post less about how i feel. i just talk about the mechanics of going through the legal process now. it's tiring.
if i had a bit of advice for those going through this. be prepared for a good fight. save your energy for when it matters.
i will be devastated when he chooses to remarry and start a family. i have been denied that and i believe the long road ahead is full of hardship for me. it will beat me down. but i will stay strong and find a way to fight through it.
