thanks Arnie! our support/mentor couples have been great! thank you for doing what you do. really. it means a lot and has helped many others. hope ur marriage is doing well. would appreciate any insights.
my W had her A exposed just 3 weeks before our Retrouvaille weekned. by big fear remains that dreaded what if? what if OM returns? what if my W waivers or goes back to chasing the OM? thankfully the OM lives in a state far away although he spent 6 months within 100 miles of where we live only having recently returned home the beginning of Sept.
on hike today w/ just she and I, she seemed to acknowledge how we have work to do and actually seemed to be looking towards the future with hope. talk about how good i felt when she said that.
with my newfound faith (which i know Retrouvaille does not require necessarily) along w/ hers which she's had all along (which is kind of ironic in a way, no?), the program is particularly moving. hopefully we will be able to see it through successfully.
we are still work on the four pillars bc forgiveness has supposedly been a problem for her. she is "angry" at me for what i have done in the past but suspect she is actually using that to re-channel her guilt over having committed adultery, and I am NOT being vindictive or angry w/ her at all but actually quite loving and forgiving. it is totally the opposite of what she would normally expect and have received from me. it is part of my 180s. i am letting go of being reactive, angry and lashing out bc that serves no purpose. maybe that is bothering her bc her i am trying to forgive myself and her, while she may be having a problem doing the same for herself and for me. W is probably not there yet.
