You dont have to feel like you are "on" all the time. And you will make mistakes, believe me. And that's ok.
If you just try to remember that you are loving your h unconditionally right now. And you are loving your kids the same way.
And you dont want to dissappear and come back. You need to go through it all, step by step.
Here's the thing - you need to stop blaming yourself. You need to start believing in yourself.
You did the best you could with the tools and knowledge you had at the time. You did nothing with the intent to cause harm.
Look, you are a good person. And sometimes sh@t happens. It's all in how you deal with it that matters.
You have an opportunity here you would not have gotten had all this not happened. Seize it!
Be the person you were meant to be. Change the things that need changing. Live your life! Enjoy your children. Figure out how to be the best you you can be.
Now what are you going to do differently tomorrow, IB? Because if you dont change your mindset, you are going to be feeling this way for a long time.
I know this is hard. I do. But I also know that you have it in you to get through this and come out the other side.
