Finding My Way

[Mystik]

While waiting for H to get there today I did some praying. I feel like I am supposed to be doing something, anything, right now to try and draw H back to me. But I know that as long as Whore is in the picture he's going to continue on in this affair fog. So I asked God for guidance in what I should be doing right now, and how to act around H so that I don't push him further away but don't come across as desperate and clingy.

H doesn't feel he's having an affair. He feels because he had already left me before he hooked up with Whore that it's not an affair. But it still is, both legally and in my perspective. I am pretty sure it was at least an EA with her before he even left. About two and a half months before he left I found text messages on his phone. He was asking someone listed in his contacts as Z "If I wasn't married would you be in a relationship with me?" and Z replied, "You're the first person I would be in a relationship with." When I confronted H about the texts he claimed it was a friend from work who I knew, he was just goofing around with her and only had the texts on his phone so I could find them and get hurt by them. This is after he had promised me transparency because things were already rocky and we were trying to work them out. So yeah, it's definitely an affair as far as I'm concerned.