I actually have much more quiet life at home. Ironic, isn't that?
Woman can't stand boredom. Don't create drama, create attraction, excitement and challenge.
What's keeping you from having a sandwhich?
Okay,
Time to get serious.
Journaling.
Lot of excitement and challenge all day so far. Getting my new shiny yellow boiler installed and watching Chilean miners pulled out of the hole one at the time.
Dogs are barking at the contractors, I'm freezing and there is no water to drink or flush the toilets.
Attraction comes when W gets home to play with the sophisticated digital controls and admiring the shiny brass nipples, ball valves and cocks.
I'm more cautious about playing hardball here. If your wife GF is not playing such games, why would you be?
You know you are going to be alright no matter what happens, and you will roll with whatever comes, I think, so the question becomes has she re-committed to your marriage R? Is she all-in?
I was thinking about the actor Patrick Swayze just now as an example of how there is no forumula for these things. Patrick Swayze was married to his wife in 1975 and until his death in 2009.
Patrick Swayze once said in an interview that he and his wife had fallen out of and back in love with one another three times that he could remember. I think he understood the dance that a marriage can be. Another famous quote of his was, "If you want to screw somebody up, give them exactly what they want". There's the nugget, I think.
If you let go, dropped the rope, and your wife GF is working hard at rebuilding your marriage R, then it could be a mistake to move out. It doesn't mean you roll over and stop letting her work for the M R because that would be a mistake too. You both have to be working for this M R or it's time to let go, IMO.
You know your wife GF, she knows you, so where are you in the whole dance... honestly?
Sorry, skipped over this under bombardment.
I made this more accurate for you.
Just answering your question despite the sudden change in my qualifications to be in divorcebusting forum.
Answer to your question: I am polkaing in circles, learning how tango and not waltzing away.
An old couple once was asked about the success of their long marriage. The old man said: "It's simple, we never fell out of love at the same time."
Turned out that W landed a big project for her firm. Huge in fact.
She was a bit late calling and kept me on the phone all through her drive. The office went out to celebrate but she decided to come home. She said, "I wanted you to be the first outside my office to know what I had accomplished".
I was still recovering from the mayhem from earlier and hadn't even showered when she walked in. I reached to a bar and picked nice wine we had saved for special occasion. She put her hand over my arm and said, "No let's go out to celebrate."
I got ready and we went. She was definitely looking for validation all night for her big accomplishment. I was not hesitant to give it to her. She also had a dilemma changing her work relationships with certain clients due to this new project. She had lot of "feelings" about that.
I put on my cool "thinking" hat and did a little bit of preaching about the way I saw her situation. She listened quietly and finally said, "You are so right, I am putting too much feelings into this. It is actually just as simple as you put it. I even though that way myself".
We came home and I showed her the new ferrari yellow boiler with lots of blinking lights. She said, "Isn't she sexy."
As I had planned, I smiled and said "Not as sexy as you are." Then I reached into my back pocket and handed her the Queen of Diamonds playing card (thanks Greek and Coach for the idea).
She looked at me puzzled for a second. I winked and suddenly she got it. She laughed and said "This is corny, totally unlike you".
I said, "I've got others, you know". She smiled and gave me a kiss on a cheek.
So there is my recap of excitement, challenge and attraction.
