Did you have to work 12 hours again? I’m worried about you. Remember you need some fun time too. You also need to take care of yourself and try not to burn the candle at both ends.
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- but no tears.
GOOD!
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The bottom-line, is that I have always felt H saved me from a life of addiction and co-dependency. Of irresponsibility and poverty.
1) Co-dependency is a behavior that can be changed! 2) Poverty or potential poverty can be changed! 3) Irresponsibility can be changed!
The changes must come from YOU.
This putting your H on a pedestal is quite normal. I did the same and hey, FTR, I still catch myself doing it. This is a process IB and need to go thru all of the stages in order to truly heal. You may have put your H on a pedestal because you lost yourself in the M, it may have been your past. Either way, he is not better nor worse than you.
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I have never given myself credit that I might have succeeded on my own.
Now we are talking Irish! I too gave my wife the credit for everything in my life. It bullchit. You accomplished much in your life. You did. You may not see it but you did. AND if you need help figuring one area of success in your life that YOU did…..take a look at your kids!
As you go through this and search yourself you will begin to realize the potential that exists in YOU and always HAS.
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So he jumped off with both feet!
That is one way to look at it. Another way is that
He was co-dependant also He lost himself/identity in the M And then His crisis hit!
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He is reaching out to our S - wanting him to come and stay at the hotel overnight. S told him ok, but he isn't thrilled about going. I have encouraged S to follow his heart.
It could be guilt, it could be him reconnecting. It could be a lot of things. Right now, none of that really matters. IMO, your role is to be a parent to YOUR kids. His role is the same, how he chooses to do that is his choice. As for your kids, your son is oldest enough to make up his own mind. Try to stay out of the R between your son and H.
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At 47 I am having a lot of anxiety of wasting time.
I’m 41 so together that makes us 89! LOL
Is finally working on those issues that you identified and wanted to change a “waste of time”?
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I know the 2x4s will be coming out –
No 2x4 from me. You know what you need to do and you will do it when you are darn ready to do it.
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only I can make the changes - only I can make things better for myself –
Let’s simplify this ^^^^^ - how about you can only make yourself happy RIGHT NOW. I am not talking about in the future – no this very second. Just today. Your H is not around right now and YOU need to be happy. Why? cause as you pointed out you are 47 and guess, there is a lot of life to live.
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but I am struggling with feelings of hopelessness and exhaustion.
I am sorry Irish. It will get better ONCE YOU allow it to. How do you change these feelings. You really sit back and figure out things to do for you. Movies, books, a night out on the town, etc.
Keeping your mind busy is critical. Hey, start reading up on some other threads. If you are interested in depressing, whinny, arrogant, pompus, funny, sad, etc stories you can go read my old thread. Oh…If ya haven’t noticed I use a lot of bad language – I’m working on that.
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I listened to Joel Osteen last night and he talked about where you find your value.
That’s the young good looking preacher dude – right?
Tonight Irish…try to rest up. Oh...and stop working 12 hours a day.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
