Wife is cheating, am sad but confused?

[HopelessInLove]

I hear all of you.

I am such a basket case. W had a board meeting for their teacher's contract to approve last night. I had no idea it must have been thrown on agenda on the last minute. I have been going over almost every night to put the kids to bed or be with them. Tuesday nights I do not. Kids called me and spoke to them for a while. Oldest D said her grandmother was coming over to watch them. I thought, why. I spoke to W and she was abrasive and extremely upset. I asked if there was something she needed to tell me. She said she was very upset with me.

I had no idea what it was that she was having a problem with. After listening to last night's tape I heard W talking to GF and discussing how she contacted L. She was turned away. I contacted 2 L several weeks back because I feared her calling these 2 pitbulls for L. I will be seeing them next week for a consult.

I also heard W talking to OM. The way she was talking the OM was having thoughts of his fiance. I tract the fiance down and sent her a friendly email on FB to just drop my name. She responded and asked if XXXX was my W. I did not respond. Albeit she mentioned something to OM. On another note she was saying things to OM that suggest to me that they have not been physical???

I have been pretty detached from W for the last week. Other than the church thing and kids she has made no contact with me. How long has it taken for the detachment to see any type of results? How well does detachment work for A situations?