I have seen it recommended that the books (DB, DR) not be shared with one's spouse. I am confused by that advice and would appreciate an explanation of why that is considered a good thing.
Now I am aware that telling a spouse they 'should read this' is not an effective approach, but I am wondering why the secrecy. At first blush it seems a bit like a manipulative strategy.
My experience has been that improving communication and learning to share feelings safely have been the most effective means for improving my relationship with my W. Harboring a secret (like following the suggestions in the books) would seem to run counter to that.
