Were you guys driving the truck you were going to lend me? :O)
You sound strong....keep doing what your doing.
Sending you (((hugs)))
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I think you handled yourself well. Maybe he is thinking about how bad he has messed up. Maybe some day he will figure that out.
Smile
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Snodderly - nice to see you visit my tread...thank you. I think that you are right...he knows that he screwed up...yet he keeps continuing on the same path....for now
SA - it actually seems that something has changed with H....he seems more caring, concerned....don't know what that means if anything....
Eric - yes I was driving my SUV. I'll lend you mine if you lend me yours lol
Kissak - thanks for stopping by, I know you have much on your mind right now (((hugs)))
This morning H wanted to come over to pick up something from the garage and talk to me as he put it "about the house situation", apparently he has an idea how not to have to sell the house....
So he came and his idea is that I make a small apartment out of one part of the house to get extra income. I told him that I already thought about it and it may have been an option before I took the second mortgage on the house....I can't afford the house on my own. And besides it's way to much work for me alone to maintain the garden, clean it and it costs to much to run the house for just 2 of us girls. To that he said that he would like to help on the house work. Just call him anytime I need something....well that's not going to happen....I'm not calling him for help. But I just said thank you for your suggestions and the offer.
Why is he all of a sudden so worried about me selling the house? Could it be because the separation agreement is being drawn up? I don't know, I'm just confused....he is still projecting that he is happy continuing on his own or should I say with OW, yet I see signs of him trying to pull closer. Maybe it's the separation agreement.....
He keeps commenting or "liking" anything I post on my Facebook...another comment today....
Also he wanted me to go to a business networking tonight with him, but I'm not feeling well so I sent him an email canceling....he emailed back being all concerned if I'm OK and that he is sorry that I'm not feeling well and to take care of myself.
Who knows what he is thinking...peeking out, guilt, reality sinking in....but there has been a change in the last week or so.
Keeping on my path....going forward with my plan
(((hugs everyone)))
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
IMHO it is the old pursuit and distance sich. As you pull away and detach more from him he is trying to keep you "not too close and not too far away". Just like a little boy with their mother. Wants his freedom but does not want to lose the ties with his mother.
All you can do is to stay on your path, continue to detach and keep the ball in his court.
Lance - you think it's the old pursuit and distance? Could be....But I certainly don't want him to see me as his mother lol....
But I think that he does anyway...it came up few times in one form or another, once he said something like this "You are like my mother you are going to hate me forever for this"....his mom never forgave his dad for leaving when she was pregnant with H...she remained bitter and depressed all her life....In that statement H I guess forgot that I've already forgiven him once 20 years ago for the first affair.....and that I was giving him a chance after chance to come back this time....
CW - I'm not letting his "niceness" get to me, I'm just observing....
Last night I received another "nice" email from H. When I emailed him that I'm sorry that I can't go with him to the business thingy I got back "But I will miss you there"
Have a great day everyone
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I certainly don't want him to see me as his mother lol....
But I think that he does anyway...it came up few times in one form or another, once he said something like this "You are like my mother you are going to hate me forever for this"....his mom never forgave his dad for leaving when she was pregnant with H...she remained bitter and depressed all her life....
You don't want him to see you that way, agreed,
however, in MLC he is still a kid and that IS the way he sees you. You can't control that. Its all on him!
Eric - yes I was driving my SUV. I'll lend you mine if you lend me yours lol
My jeep wrangler for YOUR Caddillac Escalade?? Deal!
Mila - you sound great. As usual...classy, grace, strength, love, compassion and conviction all wrap up in YOU.
Quote:
I'm not letting his "niceness" get to me, I'm just observing
I so needed to see this quote today. Not to hijack, but my W has been very nicely lately and I bounced over to read the pursuit vs distancer resource thread. I "felt" i was being sucked back in and seeing this quote reminded me not to allow myself to get pulled back in.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Lance - yup can't control the "mother" thing...like when he forgot to pay his rent...he expected me to step in and fix it for him....not even saying please....That's how I'm treated by my teenager sometimes...It's "fun" to have two teens to deal with.....
Eric - Thanks for the nice words...I'm doing "great"....considering and I wish that I felt that I'm all that lol...you are sweet.
PS: Ride in a jeep with the top down would be great...but mine is not an Escalade....it's better (joking) I'm sure you'd enjoy it....
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
