I'm just moving this back to your thread from the Forgiveness thread.
About your W's abuse by her father, in my experience it's one of those things that you can't compartmentalize/deny forever. Denial is a way of being dishonest with yourself about your true feelings, and that's what keeps you stuck on the drama triangle. However, an abuse victim can only deal with her abuse at the rate she's ready to do so. It's possible that won't happen until her father actually dies. Is the rest of her family supporting her avoidance of him?
In terms of your relationship, it's early days in the no contact/withdrawal phase. I'm sure you're aware there's a high likelihood that she may have more contact, etc, before she's truly ready to work on herself and the M. Have you prepared yourself for that?
I'm impressed with the work you've done on yourself and your compassion for your W in this situation. I hope you will continue to work on setting yourself free from her betrayal through forgiveness, but also that you will continue to work on improving yourself. Are there further changes that would make you the kind of man you'd most admire?
