I like Soleil's suggestion of writing a letter, SoA. I've written my H a letter in the past and it was very helpful to me as well. Just a question as well - have you forgiven yourself yet?
No, I haven't forgiven myself yet. I feel very guilty for what I've done, for thinking I could do those things and get away with it, for hurting my husband, for breaking up our marriage. I had an emotional affair (yes, Dance Queen, I said it) with a man, men actually, as I was a repeat offender, who I didn't even have real feelings for. When they would get too clingy, or start to want too much (i.e, they wanted to meet in real life), I'd cut them off and move on to the next one. Or I'd object about getting together, making one excuse after another, until they would finally give up and leave me alone. I just liked the excitement and attention. I'm guessing my husband assumes that I'm either just sleezy, and he isn't interested in sleezy, or that I really had feelings for these men. Either way, I don't know what to do. Do the divorce busting rules apply to those who are the guilty party wanting to fight for their marriage when the innocent spouse says they're are done?
