Trying to care

[Jack_Three_Beans]

DB 101 guys

[FaithnAK]

I'm trying to do the right thing and I'm trying to change the old behavior in myself, but my old behavior matches the detachment process.

Maybe...but there is a big difference between ignoring someone because something better is on TV (for example), and purposfully not entangling yourself in someones drama, ignoring their bad behaviour and/or disrespect toward you.

Dettach doesn't truely mean ignore, dettach to me, always meant trying to remove or protect your emotions from them and their actions.

I am dettached about the miners trapped underground. I feel bad for them, but I am not emotionally invested. I'll be happy when they get out, but I won't be dancing for joy.

I'm struggling with this! I'm trying to protect my emotions and pull a 180.

[Mach1]

If it was easy......

There wouldn't be so many posts about how to do it....

It's a balance that only you can find.

After you come to a good place inside your own head, it will become easier for you.

It's when you try to "push" detachment, that it becomes hard to find that balance.

Kind of like it isn't real when you push it.

Go easy on you too Faith...

Takes two for the breakdown...Makes for a good reason to be completely honest with yourself...

Focus on solving the problem, not the symptom of the problem

Today is a good day......choose that ?

[dl443322]

Faith, you are still early into this. And I get why you think a 180 is important right now.

But, I would focus more on dealing with the stuff you are beginning to realize and worry less about doing something so she sees it.

In my opinion, 180's should be a natural result of you seeing what changes you want to make for yourself, and not as a tactic, ya know?

So, dont worry about doing a 180. Work on those things that will bring you closer to who you aspire to be.

If you want to be someone who shows care and concern for those in his life. Be that man.

You are going to be feelings some deep stuff. Hang on tight.

You can do this.

[ericmsant2]

Faith

I will say it again. This stuff is really hard.

As for guilt yes it is okay to feel some of it. What is not good for YOU is to beat the living crap out of yourself.

These feeling you have my friend can overwhelm you. Man do I know.

But they are just feelings.

You cannot undo the past BUT you can write the future.

Dude, cut yourself some slack. It ain't even close to be over.

You can do this buddy.

You know how to reach me. Anytime my friend anytime.

Eric

[cat04]

Faith,

I agree with the others.

This is a process. One that just sort of evolves over time if you let it.

Pushing it, chances are, the changes won't last.

You have some great people posting to you and helping you. Two of my favorites actually...

Listen to them and the others...

Go easy on yourself.

Patience is key with DB, although we have all been guilty of not having it at times.

One question, you said beer was a problem...

Is that something you can change, something you want to change?

Make today a good day.

[ericmsant2]

Faith,

Hey bro...just checking in?

Dude - I just checke the weather in your neck of the wood. Chit it's 27 degrees...In October - WTF.

Today...my friend, is a new day. Yesterday was yesterday.

Keep your head up dude - chin up!

Eric

[smith18]

Dude - I just checke the weather in your neck of the wood. Chit it's 27 degrees...In October - WTF.

That actually is quite balmy in comparison to here:

http://www.wunderground.com/global/stations/89009.html

[fisherman]

Wow!

Lows in the upper -70s to lower -80s.

Booking my vacation now!

[NotFromThesePart]

Guilt my friend is a useless emotion!

Eric, this is wise. I feel increadibly guilty for my role in the breakup of my M but my GUILT isn't the thing making me work. I want to be a better person, I want both of us to be happy, and yes I want my M back. Love is making me do this not guilt.