She called me when I was leaving work, to say she has been off today and took the kids.
She is renting a house nearby, she has took a lot of furniture and pics and gone.
She said we had to arrange the situation with the kids as they need some structure, we will discuss this in the future.
I was quite polite and just said I was shocked that it acctually happened.
What do I do now!!!
I am totally lost without her and my kids, The house is quiet and its a lonely place.
I am scared about the future, sure I'll be ok but I have lost everything that I love in the world,I can pretend to be strong but I am totally devastated!!!
There is nothing formal in place, I saw it coming but still hits hard when it acctually happens.
She said we need to discuss when we have the kids so there is a structure in place for them.
She has not mention divorce yet but I expect thats coming soon also.
I have not been in contact since she called last night to tell me what she had done, and I won't be calling her first, if she wants to speak to me aboutthe kids she can call me.
My kids will be devastated by this, we were really close and I put them to bed most nights and helped with homework, this really hurts.
I have let her go, I would like to make it work, but after this I cannot see any future, I agree with other posts that her leaving is best for everyone in the future but I hate not being with my kids.
When we broke up years ago, but she never moved out, she went on holiday for a week with the kids, and came back wanting to make a go of it, so maybe this break will bring her back??
That is not my decision though, I have to think about me and make the best of the time when I see the kids.
God this hurts so much!!!!, but I have to be strong, I was nearly sick this morning getting ready for work, just knowing they were not in the house, hope I can get through this in one piece!!!!
There is nothing formal in place, I saw it coming but still hits hard when it acctually happens.
She said we need to discuss when we have the kids so there is a structure in place for them.
She has not mention divorce yet but I expect thats coming soon also.
I have not been in contact since she called last night to tell me what she had done, and I won't be calling her first, if she wants to speak to me aboutthe kids she can call me.
My kids will be devastated by this, we were really close and I put them to bed most nights and helped with homework, this really hurts.
I have let her go, I would like to make it work, but after this I cannot see any future, I agree with other posts that her leaving is best for everyone in the future but I hate not being with my kids.
When we broke up years ago, but she never moved out, she went on holiday for a week with the kids, and came back wanting to make a go of it, so maybe this break will bring her back??
That is not my decision though, I have to think about me and make the best of the time when I see the kids.
God this hurts so much!!!!, but I have to be strong, I was nearly sick this morning getting ready for work, just knowing they were not in the house, hope I can get through this in one piece!!!!
Any thoughts would really help.
Same situation with the kids, my wife took them like they are her property, and hers alone.
Make your time special when you have them, do what is special with them, make new adventures.
Best advice I have, it is hard.
Last edited by Lostinlife; 10/12/1003:09 PM.
M-38 W-37 T-16,M-11 (Oct 30,1999) S-5 S-2 Wife left 7/4/2010
"When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?" — Henry Rollins
This is so hard, I still cannot believe she has done this, not regarding me, but to the kids, she always says she wants to do the best for the kids, so why take them from their father, their home and their friends????
Just does not make sense to me, no matter how unhappy I was I would not do this to them, I would never leave my family and she know it.
I am so low at the moment and am totally lost without them.
I spoke to my wife this morning about access to the kids and money etc, it went really well.
I asked her for 3 nights a week with them, she said fine, but can we just start with 2 for a few weeks until the kids are settled, I agreed, fairly happy with that.
Then we discussed bills, etc, she pays the general bills and pay the mortgage, she said that she couldn't afford to pay them now, fair enough she doesn't live there, but she had been in touch with our mortgage company and they have confirmed that I can go on interest free payments for 12 months, which with the saving it will cover the monthly bills.
So financially I'm no worse off in the short term, I have plenty of time to address the mortgage in the future!!
She asked me if I was going to sell the house, I said not at the moment as I need to sort myself out and didn't want to rush into anything, she understood, but said that if I want to sell it any proceeds we can either split 50/50 or put in a trust fund for the kids future, I just agreed and said lets wait and see.
I never discussed us and thanked her for sorting the mortgage out, she asked if I was being sarcastic, I usually am!!, I said no I really appreciate your thinking about me, she said that she didn't just want to drop me in it with money.
Anyway I'm fairly upbeat now, I know when I'm seeing my kids, my finances seem sorted and I can look forward to the future.
I am thinking about re-decorating the house, room by room, and moving forward.
I miss her and want her, but, I don't need her.
What happens in the future happens, but as long as I see my kids and they are happy, I am happy.
Then we discussed bills, etc, she pays the general bills and pay the mortgage, she said that she couldn't afford to pay them now, fair enough she doesn't live there
I disagree with this, DCSUK. Is her name on the Note? On the Mortgage? Just because she decided to leave you, doesn't mean that her financial obligations end for the household. ESPECIALLY in the near-term.
One of the problems I've had in my marriage is that I always tried to be a pleaser, and make my wife happy. Well, I think you have to be NICE, but sometimes you can be TOO nice, and then you end up not respecting yourself, I think.
