^^ the G man has some very tough, blunt and what can be viewed as brutal advice - cold hard truth is that he's spot on and wants you to get to the right place ASAP instead of being dragged through the muddy streets that has been laid out by your significant other.
The choice is always yours to take as it's mine as well, but Gucci imo is really the quicker picker upper - all the vet's here get you to the same place - some just have a more direct route to get you to view the clear and present danger you are facing.
G man would love to have you revisit my sitch as well -
DD
Me 49 H 46 M 23yrs T 25 yrs Bomb Drop 4/2010 S22/D19/D15/S13
Same roof, different beds
"Honestly I can say this trip into my own private hell is a journey that I know now I had to take."
It is largely a symbolic recognition that you are both "all in".
Quote:
Apparently not much since half the marriages end up in divorce.
Sadly, people have little difficulty even believing they are all in early on in relationships (married or otherwise), but when things become more difficult, commitment is tested.
I would say that although the marriage ceremony is largely symbolic and not a reliable indicator of whether or not the parties are really, really all in and ready to embrace the tests of a long-term committed relationship (it's about as reliable as a coin toss if you don't look at the people involved and just rely on numbers), it is probably natural for folks to question if you and your partner are really, really all in if you will not commit to marriage. It's a valid question even if the expectation is or is not fair.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
I would say that although the marriage ceremony is largely symbolic and not a reliable indicator of whether or not the parties are really, really all in and ready to embrace the tests of a long-term committed relationship (it's about as reliable as a coin toss if you don't look at the people involved and just rely on numbers), it is probably natural for folks to question if you and your partner are really, really all in if you will not commit to marriage. It's a valid question even if the expectation is or is not fair.
This site is all about personal stuff, but it does not mean that in order to help and support those who come here, they have to expose everything including their deepest convictions.
I am not going to ask you who you voted for in 2008 or who are going to vote for two weeks from now.
If you told me that you are an American patriot and I found out that you never vote, I would not think that you don't love your country.
And this will not only be the case with people posting here. People in your life, in your partner's life, and so on will have similiar expectations.
There is a lot of social pressure to formalize long-term commitment, and the assumption is always going to be that one or both of you have commitment issues if you will not do that.
Marriage may have changed over the millenia, but it exists in every major culture and religion (or lack thereof). As an institution it might have changed over time, and it might not mean exactly the same thing everywhere you go, and different people have different expectations about what it means, but it is ubiquitous, so you can swim against that current if you wish, but... you have to expect people to make judgements, and some of them are going to be unfair I expect.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
And this will not only be the case with people posting here. People in your life, in your partner's life, and so on will have similiar expectations.
There is a lot of social pressure to formalize long-term commitment, and the assumption is always going to be that one or both of you have commitment issues if you will not do that.
Perhaps the forum rules should include "legally married only".
Now that this is creating a bias I will have to find another home.
