Back on the boards...but not sure why

[Augtan]

Opti- I too admit stuff on here that I don't to anyone else. I am still in love with my ex also, as I have posted on my thread. Yesterday, if still married we would have celebrated our 19 yr. anniversary. I was a mess all day for many reasons. During the day, my XH messaged me on the IM and we chatted about kid stuff and work stuff, then at the end I put "19 years ago today I married the most amazing man and I miss him so very much. We all miss you and love you! I know you won't respond and that is fine, I understand, just know that my love for you is unconditional and as you look back you have to realize that I never, ever turned my back on you and support you 100%!!
Have a great day and let me know what you find out or if you get the note!!" (a doctor's note for our D17 that lives with him). He responded, just said he would and thanked me. So, after work I went out with a bunch of friends and had a blast, I got home and at 11 pm got a text from him that simply said "Happy Anniversary"...I lost it and dropped to my knees sobbing.

So...I know exactly what you mean by not wanting to get the texts but wanting to get them all at the same time. It would be more healthy for you not to get them and not spend the time thinking about what they mean, I am right there with you. I need to stop too, but on the off chance that this is working and all my efforts and DBing, GAL... all of it, is finally helping him see that my love for him is real and unconditional..I just can't stop. I can see him going in and out of the MLC tunnel and I just keep, keeping on with the same stuff of working on myself and improving me and supporting him when he initiates it... and hope that one day he will come out completely. I am not putting myself on hold though either, I have dated, I have a life with friends and family. I pray to God each and everyday for him to help me heal and handle things with my XH the exact way I am suppose to with the Lord's guidance.

Hang in there Opti!! I love everything "missmyfriend" said too, so right on and exactly what I believe too. Thanks everyone on these boards, I think it is so great to be able to come here and vent to people who really understand.

A