Not sure where to start or end, WAW? - #3

[john28]

So just to catch everyone up....

W last night after work dropped S4 off at my home. She takes class every Tuesday night and that is a day we agreed that he stays with me. Weird schedule, but I get him every Tues/Thur and we split the weekends. So, it's a 50/50 arrangement, but it works because of her work/school hours.

So after she drops him off and leaves, he turns to me and says, "When is Mommy coming to pick me up? Am I staying here tonight?" I tell S4 that he will see Mommy tomorrow and I will drop him off in the morning like usual, but then he says, "Well, Mommy said that she would come pick me up tonight." I told him that I didn't think Mommy would say that, so he started to get upset and I told him let's call your Mom and we can talk about it.

So, I called her to find out if he was using this parent vs. parent tactic (which he's used before to get to watch more TV or something) and she picked up. I nicely said that S4 said that you were coming to pick him up tonight and I was a little confused, so I wanted to talk to you about it, W.

She then says that he had difficulty getting in the car because he just got up from a nap and she asked him if he wanted her to pick him up after class (mind you, this is *my* day with him) and that she would talk to me about it. Before I could even utter a word she said, "And you and I never agreed that he would spend nights with you when I had class, you're just doing me a favor by babysitting for me when I have class. You put in there that you would keep him that night, I never agreed to that. So I thougth I would pick him up."

Ok. So she gets out of class at 9:30pm. He's 4 years old. On what earth would I just "babysit" until 9:30pm when his bedtime is 8:00pm? She tried to pull the wool over my eyes here, we definitely agreed to which nights are who's. I'm not saying all of this, but thinking it in my head.

But still, I'm a little pissed, and I'm seeing drama getting ready to happen. So, I remain calm.

I say: "Really? Ok. Well, I don't think it was like that. But, if you insist that all we agreed to is that I would have him overnight every Sunday and every other Saturday I think we have some miscommunication. I doubt you or I would agree that I get him only 6 nights a month."

She then launches into this "I would never deny you your son if he asked for you, blah blah" stuff.

I ignore it. Just say have a good night. Hang up.

She texts after saying, "This is why I never want to spend time with you, for you doing things like this."

Me? Really? Be-JESUS!

I'm still not responding. I want to cool down. So I wait an hour or so and send her:

"You never should have put me in that position in the first place. You could have calmed him down by saying you would call him 2, 3 or 5 times. That's what we agreed to. And then before I could even talk to you about any of it, you say that we never agreed to me having him on these nights? You know what you agreed to. That is not right."


I'm not standing for ANYMORE of her CRAP BEHAVIOR. I got some BALLS and called her out, but didn't engage. So guess what? Five minutes later I get a text from her:

"You're right, John. I shouldn't have. Next time I will say I will call you 3 times. I know what I agreed to, I'm sorry. I didn't handle this well"