I screwed up and did the initial whiney texts after he left, just told him what I would miss about him type thing. He said there are things he will miss to and it wasn't all bad. Even said maybe we'll have fun together again someday and can remain friends. I don't want to be his friend, I want to be his wife. I want him to look at me like he did on our wedding day. I want to be his world again, like I once was.
I think the jealousy I have is more towards the attention he gives her that I don't get. Believe you me, there is nothing in regards to the OW herself that I have to be jealous of as she is not a very good person. Its just that time that she gets and I want.
The OW from his first EA however, is a different story. We met her through a friend 6 months before getting married. She was in love with him but he never noticed, everyone else did. He stopped talking to her about three years ago, (yeah it went on seven years) and has recently started talking to her again. He said to me last night that he didn't have feelings for her then, says with her only being 17 and him being 23 at the time it would have been wrong. Then he went on to say that now however he has seen what she has grown into and respects her greatly (shes never been afraid to put him in his place). Believes she would be able to turn him around and get him "shaped up" so to speak. Said giving up 2nd OW as a friend and even quitting smoking might be worth it for her. He basically said if her marriage doesn't work out, he's going to persue her. He said he sees now that she was in love with him but she got her heart broken because he made a mistake. WTF?!?! Was marrying me the mistake? Makes me feel like our marriage was never really worth anything to him.
I guess if we get back together, dealing with the feeling that he still has feelings for this girl may very well be the hardest thing to get over as its something I've always suspected and has always hurt me. Will I ever be ale to live up to her in his eyes?
Me: 30/ H: 34 DD: 7 / DD: 4 Together 16 years, Married 10 He Moved Out: July 2009 / Came Home: January 2010 Left Again: October 2010
