Sanderika, it is hard to be here, five years on, and these people still away with the fairies. Friendship with a MLCer isn't really friendship as I understand it, where two people care about one another, and do things together. What the MLCer wants, if they want contact at all, is affirmation, and having us still in their lives. They are selfish and self centred in a way that it incredible to a normal person. They are not willing to put themselves out in any way practically or emotionally. They cannnot cope with any demands on them.
So as long as your husband is in that state you may or may not have contact, but it will always be a one sided relationship, which is ultimately unsatisfying. There can be a therapeutic value for them in having this contact, in creeping back to 'normality' but long term it is unsustainable.
As you say it hurts to see them and it hurts to see them go. At the same time, what a weird relationship they appear to have with the OW, and how unlike a healthy adult relationship it usually is. The truth is, they aren't capable of having a relationship with anyone at all.
