thanks Jin. i am not checking boards as often. work, family, but still drawn to it and to everyone here. : ) i know u r all with me bc we are in this together.
u r sooo right. she WILL have to go thru her mourning period for OM. i have a feelig there are times when she is feeling amorous but looks over at me to discover i am not OM. ha. so the clock continues to tick. no biggie. only want for my W to return. to realize what has happened. not asking for big apology. no way.
u r correct about the 180 as well. i have worked so hard to curb my anger, have listened to the things she's said about what has been the problem in the past. at times the W is incredulous but suspect i am planting the seeds which should hopefully bear fruit later.
insofar as sexual desire? totally see it. W tried denying it a couple of nights ago that when we stopped having sex it had nothing to do with what she felt for OM and was 100% bc of me. i believe woman only have room in the heart and in the bedroom for one person. not like us guys i guess, although i can tell u at this point i am not the least bit interested in anyone else right now. work with some pretty women who are very nice to me, but no thanks. and i would NEVER do to their spouses (for the ones who are married) what mine has done to me. NEVER.
great suggestion. periodically i kiss her neck and stop at that bc i know she likes it. i make her breakfast and am nice to her. would like to go away with her without kids for at least one night w/ no expectation whatsoever of any kind of physical intimacy. just spending time alone would suffice. all of these small steps will hopefully bear fruit in the end. i am patient, and THAT is not easy for someone like me given the way i'm wired.
i hope all is well with u. sometimes it is not so good to post and read the board lots during a day. it can be draining.
