Lots of good stories tonight on the board, does me good to see some people break through and get their lives back the way they want...after alot of changes.
No update here, another dark night. My boys called, they are excited for the pumpkin patch.
Looking at Disney vacations for the 3 of us, both idolize Buzz Lightyear
Making the best life I can for the boys.
M-38 W-37 T-16,M-11 (Oct 30,1999) S-5 S-2 Wife left 7/4/2010
"When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?" — Henry Rollins
Is it Saturday yet? Pumpkin patch, maybe some shopping with the boys to get them sneakers, then we will watch the Phillies!
Both of us are still dark, different reasons. Mine is for healing and detaching, hers is for her new life.
Weird dreams again last night, I can keep myself busy, and work on myself...I just can't escape my dreams.
Booked a room in Ocean City, Md for Thanksgiving for myself, I don't have any family, so I'll make due. I have the boys the weekend before so we'll start our own tradition.
The nights seem to really get to me.
M-38 W-37 T-16,M-11 (Oct 30,1999) S-5 S-2 Wife left 7/4/2010
"When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?" — Henry Rollins
Got the boys to bed. Sat and watched them sleep for about 15 minutes, wishing I could do that everynight. As I watched them, one of the thoughts that passed through my mind, their Mom is out with her boyfriend, 3 months after we were together as a family.
We had such a good time playing tonight, stopped on the way home and bought a movie we all watched, got a pizza....
They have their bags ready for the Pumpkin patch, and the oldest boy before he went to bed said he misses his home
M-38 W-37 T-16,M-11 (Oct 30,1999) S-5 S-2 Wife left 7/4/2010
"When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?" — Henry Rollins
Thanks Mystik, I always appreciate the encouragement, it's needed.
Well today, what a great day with the boys!
But of course my wife chimes in....I get a text this morning saying it's time to take this to the next level and file, I ignore it, I was with the boys.
I get another a few hours later, asking if they had fun, I ignored that also.
This is from a lady that hasn't texted or talked to me in weeks.
So I get another saying she won't allow me to have the boys if I don't answer, did I leave town, get into a accident?
I just texted back we had fun.
That started a barrage of texts saying she has no more feelings for me, happy to be alone and every other thing she could think of to try and get a rise out of me.
So maybe I'll get papers, maybe I won't....not even sure if it matters, she certainly hates me right now.
Still dark.
M-38 W-37 T-16,M-11 (Oct 30,1999) S-5 S-2 Wife left 7/4/2010
"When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?" — Henry Rollins
Don't think like that, it is hard to DB when your spouse is spewing such vile. But in the future if she starts texting you like mad about how she doesn't like you, etc. then I would simply reply you do not appreciate her texting things of that nature to you, text messaging is for brief updates on the boys.
New thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2112303
Hi there, LostInLife - I’m sorry you are going through all of this. I’m relatively new to DB and to this site, so I’m not sure my comments are ‘correct’ in the DB manner.
It seems to me you have been doing a good job overall of not getting hooked. Like not responding the the first few texts, for example. But then...
Originally Posted By: Lostinlife
So I get another saying she won't allow me to have the boys if I don't answer, did I leave town, get into a accident?
Perhaps you felt that this was a credible threat and that you had to respond.
The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. It is likely that she is struggling with conflicting emotions and cannot ‘divide’ her heart not. Meaning that she has positive feelings for this OM and so cannot maintain positive feelings for you at the same time. Also, what is really being expressed is likely the result of a long time of unexpressed feelings that have been ‘gunny sacked.’ In other words, as difficult as it may be, don’ take even those words personally.
There is a lot on this site about the importance of boundaries. The difficulty is that it is very hard to do so when the other person doesn’t feel validated. What has worked for me in such situations is to begin by validating the her feelings, as unfair as that might seem. And the feelings being expressed are not so much in the words but what lies beneath the words. When criticism is directed at you, what is really being expressed is pain and sadness. Those are the feelings that need to be validated before she is able to hear a boundary.
